Choking ON your Image

Pimp bones in my body....

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 06:29:34 GMT

Yah. Went to mex this weekend.. twice. Intense. didn' have school on fri so me and around 7 girls and sal( ha) went to TJ for the day. fun stuff. Lexi cracked me up the whole time. Ate at the same place she had her 19th b-day. ( memories) got drunk and katie bought some wierd picture.. I don;t know.
Then the next day headed up to Rosarito for the nite. fun times. Ran into Leila, got a lil crazy. danced a bit and headed to Mike's house in Puerto where the drinking didn't stop.
Have you ever played Office Space drinking.. yah didn;t thinks so.. we def. did. ha.
Blah I just got off work. Bought alot of Mac makeup. I am obsessed... not good. school is almost over. not really though. I need to get my act together. I want to move out. I need to enroll in cosmotology school soon... I am a lagger..
I am talking to Leann. she is moving.. I want to move somewhere.
I am going to bed. Maybe dream about something funn....

I want to go on a slip in slide...

p.s. I have my tatoo in mind. Just have to wait until after my spring break to get it.I am excited...

Pimp bones in my body rock them body hottie....( don;t really know the words.. But i try)

tears are all i taste..

Sat, 13 Mar 2004 19:27:43 GMT

How much pain is enough? How sad can one person be? I am to overwhelemd right now. I dont want to drink anymore? It just seems that when I am drunk thoughts come into my head that i wish i could say sober. It would just be better if i never had those thoughts.
I went last nite to this thing called MadCaps. It was at my old Junior high, and i saw alot of people who i used to hang out with.. from like 8th grade. It was fun.. fun.
went to dom's party. It was pauls suprise party. we were reeally late for the suprise. oops. Had a keg. 300 jello shooters. alot of people. and i left early. I cant take it anymore. I just can't. I find my self apoligzing for shit i did not do. for stuff that shouldn't have t be apoligized for.

I find myself with my eyes closed shut
this way your image won't kill me.
choking on the memories we had
i find myself lost.
Cut this rope from my wrist;
this pain will do my no good.
scars are open,
truth seeped outof your everlasting eyes.

I laugh in your dreams and cry in your reality...

Mon, 01 Mar 2004 22:17:04 GMT

" This marks the anniversary of the First time you deciding to forget me."
blah.
well nothing really exciting, came home early from school today. once again. I just can't make it all the ay through anymore. I am so over it. ahh.
on sat i went to twigs to watch Vic and Curt, always fun. except i had plans( sort of) to hang out with My love Kate, but vic and curt didn't even go on until 11:45... way late. and then last minute we truck it down to tj. Not planned. so the gang was me, mike, vic, curt Michelle( Michee) and Dom. We didn't get across until around 1:15. yes this calls for a good nite. it was a lonnnnggg ass nite. Got back to our houses around 5:00... slept at mike's. He had work at 10.... i wasn't to happy about that. I slept on the floor. I needed space to pass my drunk ass out. The i had work at 2.. blah. last nite they all went to Este's. i didn't. I wanted to sleep. and that's excactly what i did. But peple called me at like 12, and i was sleep talking... sorry for whoeever i talked to last nite... i don't remeber what i said... he he he
Mitch has been talking to this girl Leann.. I like her. we all like her...
okay i am hungry once again..
love me..
love me..
forget me... now..

come to me

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 22:59:32 GMT

Today i wished i was a Bobble head.... I don't know..
I guess i am not a talker.( ha)
Going down to Epicenter i think... Good Ol'Yesterdays rising is playing. Funny guys.

my shoes are wet= my toe's are cold.
I hate feet.

I miss you, and only wished me.

i wish i was your gravedigger...

Sat, 21 Feb 2004 00:50:32 GMT

going to Beloved tonight. My car pools band is opening up the show.
wish the UM Guys luck. I really do...
it's going to ran. I love to run in the rain. I hate the feel of wet hair...
I am sorry...
I am cold. Just got out of the shower.. I smell clean.. Vanilla body wash, i love it. do you love me.

i need a drink. let my drown in my booze.

expect the unexpected

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 23:05:05 GMT

hey Yall! I haven't updated in a while. Lazy. This weekend was fun. I wored friday( gay) and then on Sat shopped with Buddy Caity Hall and then off to Mex. We had alot of people. around 14 to be exact. That's alot for Mike's lil house in Puerto. We got trashed. and that lead to a Game of Tag.. not a smart idea. I tripped over and rock and was convinced i broke it. Woke up early and cleaned- rounded the troops and had to be at work by 1. I missed the superbowl because of work. oh well. I don't like football but i like the bbq's and commercials!
School was lame today. I have off campus PE which we go bowling everyday.. and I suck. My first time bowlng over 100. pretty proud which lead to a celebration dance;Admused everyone.
Car is in the shop. I hate not having my car, i feel so hopeless.
So lower D playing with Fear Before the March of Flames, what what!!!
LUke got a tatoo.. it looks cool. and Mike got one of his daggers filled in. It's all bright and pretty to look at. Yay for Tatoo Chris! ( he came down to mex with us)... we were disspoainted no one brought Alkaline trio! Bitches!
hm.. about to go to Newport down in ob.Love it. buy some stuff. yayaya
``` Need to go up to Lou's soon~~~ I am outta here.
p.s Katie I hope you had fun... But not to much. you know the Beligrent one. ha

toodles!

home sweet home

Sun, 25 Jan 2004 20:29:14 GMT

Home after an intresting nite last nite. So went over to Ash's to pick her up Then headed to Mike's to go to Coheed. I guess everyone was meeting over there. Even the guys of Yesterday's Rising. They just decided to stay the weekend over at Dom's... Mike's mom cooked us some dinner( it was dank) and then we headed to the show. They were sold out so Luckily ash and some others got in. Mitch me and Mike headed to the Liqour store to get some 40's.. gangster. I kept the paper bag on mine because i felt thug.. apparently i wasn't though. ash gt mad so we crept some alch inside soma and the fun began. The show was fine, only bad i saw was Coheed. Didn't care for the others. After went to doms.. and i had a really sober nite. I was to sobr for the madness of dom.
that's that.
I gatta go to work soon. Bah.
I am stil kinda sick from Lexi's 2 nites ago. bad nite.. vry bad nite...
Miss ya katie!

Happy Birthday!

Thu, 22 Jan 2004 21:03:28 GMT

Yay! So today is B's birthday! Big 20 what what! Um has a show in la tonite, hope that goes well. I like Bridgette's idea about going up, but i have work till 9:30, sucky for me!
I am going to get my hair done. I am bored.
I love getting my hair done, when they massage the head, it feels so good. Nicky( from Jail bait) is so good. Man.
Listening to new UM. good shit. I have to pee. Coheed on sat. I want to go to mex.
B's house after Coheed. yay.Ash took all my cd's. poop on her.
I feel bad for kaity. It's just your luck. Maybe things will work for the best:) Pretend like you don't know what they are talking about. that always works.. ya right. Have fun at Berkley!
" I want a boy who is to drunk to talk".... don't we all.

Damn it feels good to be a Gangster

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 20:26:39 GMT

Yah, I am home from Finals today. Gay. I am rockin' out to Office Space soundtrack.
I don't like zoolander. But i like when he says" Hansel he's so hot right now.. Hansel"
UM played a really good show on Sun, che went off. sold out. They have a big show tom in la. Yay for them. I have work, of course!
Watched Office space yesterday, one of my fav movies... yahh umm we are going to need thoes TPS reports.. yah..
so good. Makes me laugh, that's all important. Best of Will Ferral.. makes me laugh. I like to laugh.:)
bye bye I am eating a hot pocket.. it's burning me. Love me!

sleepy

Sun, 18 Jan 2004 18:04:26 GMT

Another morning up and early. Dissapointed... Wnted to go to Tj Last nite. People bail. Lame. People who get mad when other people bail-- Ironic how that works out.
Went up to Lou's yesteday with Dom and Mike. Sat in 2 hour traffic, still can't figure out why it was so bad. Thought I saw tony Qwen ( i got a lil star struck). he was behind us... i was getting a lil bored. Disspointed when I got to Lou's. I usually com out with at leas 4 cd's.. only 2. and 1 i didn't want to much. Boo hoo. yesterday was a disspointing day.
Katie went swimming. Makes me smile. hahah
Tonight hopefully wil be better. Work pretty soon. sucky.
Underminded @ Che tonight... yuppers. with Swindle also. and some more. but i fotgot. My fingers are cold.
BYYYEE

Tear drops on this canvas of youth

Sat, 17 Jan 2004 18:16:30 GMT

Happy I got to sleep in. well Not really sleeping in, but when you have to ake up at 6 every morning for school 9:30 is sleeping in. Wish i could have sleeped in more. Something woke me...
Went to the Show last nite. Lower D ( what what) played very goodd. yah tino! And B did good too. weird seeing him play for any other band. it was cool. I have neve seen Yesterday rising. I like em! They ended up hanging out at Mike's with us,random.
Early times did really good. Haven't been able to see them in a while cuz of work, very nice. They are up on Equal Vision's web site now, check em out. And NOw their name is Before Today, no longer early times. So sad.
Went to the show with my love Katie. I miss her and last nite made me realize how close we are. my best friend. Del taco? My nose is running, i am sick.
I am going up to Lou's soon. Yay!more money gone.

forget the unforgetable

Tue, 13 Jan 2004 19:13:11 GMT

at school. like usual. Finals next week sucky. Last nite it was my dad' b-day, totally forgot. Ops. but made it up and went to see Big Fish. We all liked it. I cried. LIke always. Ate to much candy, feel sick.
Early times show on Friday at Soma, support them.
I think I am going through a mid-life Crisis. Need to talk to someone, where's lexi.
I feel like I am going no where in life, why?
I slacked all highschool, not to smart.
Want to do all these things, because i feel like i need to do something, make up for what i did not do.
I like big glasses.
and cheese.
ah till later.

Sun, 11 Jan 2004 02:26:45 GMT

1) Using band names, spell out your name

Alkaline Trio
Sex Pistols
Hoobastank
Ludacris
Early times
Yellowcard

2) Have you ever had a song written about you? Yah I thnink so
3) What song makes you cry? touching ones.. I am emotional
4) What song makes you happy? Alkaline trio ones
5) What do you like to listen to before bed? nothing. then i go crazy in my sleep

a p p e a r a n c e
HEIGHT: 5'4
HAIR COLOR: Dark Brown
SKIN COLOR: Tan I guess
EYE COLOR: Green
PIERCINGS: yesss
TATTOOS: not yet

r i g h t - n o w
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: not wearing any
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: I am making up a flo in my head right now
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: pickle
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: cold.
HOW ARE YOU? cold

d o - y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: yah, it's weird
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: yah many.
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: not at all.

f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW:E! True Hollywood stories, SNL
CONDITIONER: Bed head
MAGAZINE: Rolling stones, amp
SODA: DR. Pepper
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: eat, sleep
RAPPER: LUdacris...haha

h a v e - y o u
BROKEN THE LAW: that's a joke... katie..
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: nah, to lazy
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: don't need to
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: Probably
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: thoes are always good fun
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: nah, to heavy
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: they keep thoes far away from me.
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: hhaha another joke
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: nah, i am always singing in the shower.to busy
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: Yah I was Doopey in snow white... very talented
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER:that's what I do best

l o v e
BOYFRIEND: always
GIRLFRIEND: I like to swing i
CHILDREN: If i did. sure
BEEN IN LOVE?: yah.
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: yah, very hard
BEEN HURT?: all the time
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: Regrets are pointless
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR 3 DAYS: naw.

r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: yah, 2.
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: The Darkness
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: uh.. yellow
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: my friends, armadillos, skunks, music, some special people, Mike.
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: they all know who
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: Ludacris- Chicken and beer
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: I don't know. alot of people

w h e n / w h a t - w a s - t h e - l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?: Yesterday
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: Like in the mail? jesus i don't know
YOU GOT E-MAIL: I get thoes weir porn things...
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED:Real world
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: elf... it's been a while

y o u r - t h o u g h t s - o n
ABORTION: if you got to do it, then you got to it. it's to opinionated. it's up to the person. that's it
TEENAGE SMOKING: never have. but everyone i know that does, wishes they could stop.
SPICE GIRLS: When I was younger i went o look them up( when i was a fan of theirs) and i cliked on this site and a pic of Geri spice spread eagle was on my screen.. ever since i have been tramatized.

Can't get Rid of you

Sun, 11 Jan 2004 01:57:07 GMT

Lovely Saterday now isn't it. Nothing really to say.

I can't get rid of you
I don't know what to do
I don't even know who is growing on who
'Cos everywhere I go you're there
Can't get you out of my hair
Can't pretend that i don't car- it's not fair.

Sleeping in an empty bed
Can't get you off my head
I won't have a life until you're dead
Yes you heard what I said.

-The Darkness-- Growing on me

weekend

Fri, 09 Jan 2004 18:48:18 GMT

finally the weekend. The guys are back from Hollywood. Yahh.. So what to do this weekend. Maybe poker nite at Dom's? I don't know.. Don't know how. fun to watch though. well this weekend on Saterday show up at Chain.. As I lay Dying. Might head up there. work tonite, blah.
Friends are making me happy. thank you.
happy late b-day erin

p.s.

Thu, 08 Jan 2004 21:04:15 GMT

sarcasm is one of my fav things.. if your going to take some things i say seriously.. don't read my journal.. tribal tat.. and for you to think i was serious.. make me laugh.. petty you petty you..

bored..

Thu, 08 Jan 2004 20:59:23 GMT

10 bands you've been listening a lot to lately:
1) Fear Before the march of flames
2) Pretty Girls Make Graves
3) Phil Collins
4) Alkaline trio
5) Poison the well
6) AFI
7) Coheed and Cambria
8) Cyndi Lauper
9) Nirvana
10) Goo Goo dolls

//09 things you look forward to:
1) Getting a tatoo
2) Moving out
3) making more money
4) being happy
5) hanging out with old friends
6) going to a good show
7) being famous
8) doing hair and makeup forever
9) friends to be happy

//8 things you like to wear:
1) jeans
2) sandals
3) my weird shoes
4) belts
5) black pants
6) eye linear
7) my earings
8) watches

//07 things that annoy you:
1) people who say " im fat" and they know they aren't
2) trucker hats on girls
3) people who sing out loud and don't know the words
4) whiny girls
5) people with chapped lips asking to use my chapstick
6) negative people
7) ties on girls

//06 things you say most days:
1) intense
2) gangtsa
3) what...
4) uh..
5) rad
6) your cool

//05 things you do everyday:
1) look in the mirror and hate my self
2) wish i could be someone else
3) eat ice cream
4) eat a pickle
5) smile because i know you

//04 people you want to spend more time with:
1) lexi
2) Bridgette
3) old friends
4) katie

//03 movies you could watch over and over again:
1) Drop dead Fred
2) Clifford
3) Gacy... ha ha

//02 of your favorite songs at the moment/been listening to a lot:
1) San Fransico- Alkaline trio
2) Celebrity Skin- Hole

//01 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
1) you know...

you are what you love....

Thu, 08 Jan 2004 00:09:01 GMT

well another boring day. Lonely. want to go eat down nin Old town. Yumm.. No work today, thank god.
all my friends( for the most part) hav their lives planned out.. I don't.. is that bad? I want to do make-up forever. I just want to have fun.
Talking with Tino about some tat idea's... we are thinking a Tribal around my Biscep.. and then a matching one on my thigh. Does that sound good?maybe with some thorns and barbwire?
sounds hot.
I want to be hot.
Has anyone seen the movie Clifford?not the one with the red dog, but with the boy who wants to o to Dinosoar world? or the movie Drop Dead Fred? I need to buy these DVD's... amazing work.

well UM is in Hollywood recording, yay for them.
I hungry and fat. I want some cookie dough...

Be my boyfriend.

kiss my gun good bye

Tue, 06 Jan 2004 17:47:03 GMT

ah. how can i be a good friend when I don't even know how to be good with my self....
Drawing up my tat. anyone know a good place to get it?
good shows to keep in mind...
Coheed
Blood brothers.
i am at school.

Do you remember what the music meant

Sat, 03 Jan 2004 01:57:29 GMT

yah, so I am home. that's a first. Break's almost over, sucky.
you made me happy. you really did.
Friends have been cool lately. Love them. New years. that's a joke. My new year has started off bad. yay.
i wish I looked like Carmen Electra.Man.
``wish things were good again```

intense

Wed, 31 Dec 2003 17:21:10 GMT

well tonight is new years eve.. Everyone have their New Years Resolutions? I have to many that i would want to change. and not enough time or will power, eh. Tonight is also the New years eve show? anyone going? I gatta work till 6:30, that blows.
Friends have been sketch lately.hate that.
lot has been on my mind, i can't even consintrate. I want schoo to be ovr... but i don't know what I want to do with my life-- Failure.
I want to be married by the age of 24... i need a husband.
I have to get ready for work. no fun.
have a good new years eve. No drinin and drivin!

COld!

Tue, 23 Dec 2003 23:07:49 GMT

It's fuckin cold outside. damn. well no work today.. that's a first. I got a car today. Excited about that. It's an Explorer. cool but not to cool. Well the other night went to Lexi's. Saw the old gang. Good to see them all again. Was suppose to go to dom's, but didn't.MIke was all tired and getting sick. Blah. Just got off the phone with Bridgette. Might chill with her today.i duno. Everyone is at SWAT.I miss some people.. others i don't. wel it is time to relax. I have no gifts yet for anyone. I procrastinate on everything.. others will know. I wanan be drunk. always happy when i am.

Bahh

Thu, 18 Dec 2003 18:32:50 GMT

Why are things so confusing. I am at school right now. early. I am a winner. Glad we pay this money for this school.. do nothing. I am online. " i think about you in my sleep'. I am tired. Had work till 12 last nite. Need money for my new car i am getting.Ford explorer, no to cool.
Bridgette came in and visted me at Abercrombie. Cool to see her. Couple days before that i was looking at old pictures from Gramacy and other odd things. Made me laugh.
haven't laughed in a while.
I wish UM had a better time slot at the New Years show. They deserve it.

ah

Sun, 14 Dec 2003 21:44:14 GMT

This sucks. I have missed 3 days of school, now I am going to have a shit load of make up work. Ah i hate school. well I just got back from Disneyland. Went yesterday.. stayed at DisneyLandHotel..pretty thug. To many people. I don't like people. Esp ones that walk all slow when you are trying to get to a ride. Well Downtown Disney was sick. I kept thinking about someone.... Lonely. I am home now. still thinking. It's mike's birthday today. Don't know what's going on. Went to Lou's Records on the way home. Spent to much money. i am to take a shower..
I miss you.

look in the mirror.. happy yet?

Tue, 09 Dec 2003 18:47:25 GMT

i catch me not sleeping for your image keeps me awake.

Wish i could be hurt from you,
so i would have the chance to be loved.
Swimming in the memories we never had
I am oblivious to all except you.
Dieing for one kiss
i forgot the taste.
test my own being... I am nothing.
Let me share my youth
so beautiful,
so sinful.
let my sins pour into our never existing romance.
Enough heart brake,
no more sorrow.
My image faints when you arrive.
Slit my throat, and nothing but my gasp of "i love you" will pour out.

Enough of that. I was bored at school and i guess i felt all deep. I am getting so tired lately. I am missing all the free time i once had. I have two jobs. agh painful. PLus my d's in school aren't helping shit out. Some b-days coming up. what what. nick's and mike's. Big 21 and 19 year old. I am happy just to be 18. I am missing some old friends.. I work with lexi and it's cool to see her alot. we always talk about the old days.. some would call them the good days. The best was Gramacy. Some might not have been exposed to that place. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. But those who did... will never have the right words to explain. haha. well I miss everyone who moved away. Bridgette copley and Prsha! i am at school... I hate it. oh well. i am outta here. toodles...

" it's not that i don't love you anymore... it would be more accurate to say i never loved you in the first place."